By A Thread
by Lisette82
Summary: Peter Whitlock met and lost his mate during the Southern Wars. Depressed and alone Peter carries on, depressed yet wishing for a reprieve from his pain. Will he be able to move on or find his love again?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The characters aren't mine, all I own is my imagination.**

PPOV

I never thought I'd be here again. Standing in a field with my brother, scars on display, waiting for an army. This time however there was no fight for blood and territory. No psychotic bitchpire looking over our shoulders. It was for the Major's family and, as he was mine, I would be here for him.

I looked to my right at the man who changed me, who let me run from an existence of terror and saw that he had come back into his own. Gone was the emo veggie vamp and in his place stood the God of War. Any normal person would be scared shitless of him. Hell, half of our allies were. But I knew the truth. I knew that despite his hard ass persona, Jasper was still in there. He had a hand behind him, wrapped around Alice, the pixie, finding and giving comfort simultaneously while she tried to see the outcome of the battle. The all-knowing one and I had always butted heads, but there was love there. Although she wasn't his mate anyone who could save and love my brother the way she could would forever be important to me.

My sister stood next to him. She kept me sane for long after we escaped, saved me from throwing myself into a bonfire more times than I could count. I wanted to go back so many times, despite knowing it wasn't the time for it. Char winked at me, bouncing lightly back and forth on her feet. Ready to run forward and rip limbs. It shouldn't surprise me. It's what we were made for. Her mate Garrett was off to her right, waiting to join yet another war. I wasn't afraid for my sister, I knew he would always protect her.

I knew that they would be here soon. I knew that it wouldn't end well. And I knew that something else would follow.

I felt the pull in my chest and looked to my left. Mahogany curls that felt like silk in my hands. A body with curves whose movements could be both soft and deadly. Fierce red eyes that could see what was left of my soul. My dead heart clenched at the thought of losing her again. As if she could read my mind, those eyes found mine and softened. Reaching toward me she gently traced the scar over my right eye. Her favorite one. Said it gave me character.

I pulled her to me and buried my face in her neck, breathing deeply. Magnolias, lemon and something else that I've never been able to describe, it was just her. My love, my life, my deadly beautiful girl. She stood on her tiptoes and I could feel her lips at my ear. "I will always win, my love will never fade," pulling back she finished the words she had murmured to me so long ago. "I am forever yours."

I ran my thumb over her cheekbone before cupping her face and pressing my lips to hers. Once, twice, three times. "Be safe, run if you have to. I'll find you at the end, Darlin'." She smiled at me. "Of course you will. You'll just know where I am." For one of the few times in my life, I wished for my brother's gift. I wanted to throw my emotions at her until my love, adoration, desperation and need wound around her heart. She knew how I felt anyway.

"It's starting, I can feel them." Jasper said quietly. I pressed my lips to her forehead one last time and squeezed her hand as she slid back to her place in the line next to me. Never behind, she was a force to be reckoned with and from the first time the Major had thrown her into a fight she proved it over and over. It was a part of her. I still worried. I would always worry.

I couldn't tell her I loved her right now. It would be goodbye and that wasn't fucking happening. I had just gotten her back, losing her wasn't an option for me.

A hoard of newborns barreled towards us over the hill, my body tensed and then as if with a mind of it's own, ran forward into the fray.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Love it, don't own it.**

**Also I'm looking for a beta since I have a tendency to type way too fast and end up leaving out words so if anyone is interested let me know.**

PPOV

"Peter! Where the fuck are you?!"

Jesus Christ my sister was fucking loud. I was sitting in front of the TV kicking some twelve year old ass at Halo. Vampire coordination came in handy for something.

Charlotte came barreling in through the front door of our Wyoming home, her mate Garrett trailing behind. I sighed. I didn't begrudge my sister her happiness, and Garrett was one of my best friends. I had known him longer than Char, but frankly I hated being around the two of them most of the time. It forced me to remember a time that I didn't want to.

All of a sudden my Xbox controller was ripped out of my hands and my character was blown up by some German asshole with a bazooka.

"Fuck Charlotte I was winning!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry Pete, I know that's such a rare occurrence and all, but I couldn't contain her anymore." The peanut gallery, aka Garrett, commented. So helpful.

"Oh just deal with it Petey, it's not as though you can't play tomorrow." Char said, throwing me an exasperated look. "You have to pack we're leaving in two days."

I sighed. I knew this was coming, the down side of my gift. Often I just knew shit, mostly things I didn't want to. My family thought I was a cocky bastard for it and that's how I tried to play it off. Peter the omniscient Yoda. It was helpful when we were in the wars, I knew how to get us out of trouble, stay ahead of the game. After I used it for the stock market to build up the Whitlock wealth. After the little fortune teller joined the family we really did well.

Which brought us to now. Every year Char, Garrett and I rented a villa on an island in Greece for a month. There was only one other home on it and we always made sure it would be empty when we were there so that we could hang on the beach in all of our sparkly vampire glory. I usually only stayed for a week or two and then left so that Garrett and Charlotte could be alone together. Sometimes we had friends come with us which was usually better for me, because even though they were generally mated couples the more people there were the bigger the distraction.

Our brother and creator Jasper and his wife Alice usually came with us sometimes bringing their family Emmett and Rosalie. That was fine I miss being with Jas, but I know Ali makes him happy and that in itself is a rarity. Jas is an empath, feeling every emotion around him is hard, despite how he tries to block them. To this day I don't know what to say about Ali. She's a hyper future seeing pixie of a girl. Despite the similarity of our gifts, we are complete opposites. Sometimes I don't know how Jasper puts up with her, but I wish I did. When they met he and I were both depressed, brooding mother fuckers. Difference is that he met this upbeat sunshiny sprite of a girl who was able to lift his spirits and change his life. Although they weren't mates, they were happy enough together and even though they would someday separate to find their other halves, ultimately they were extremely close friends and always would be. Granted Alice didn't particularly believe that and tried her hardest to convince Jasper that I was full of shit for thinking it, I knew I was right. He just wouldn't believe me until he met his actual mate. Unfortunately not only did she never have any effect on my personality, Jasper had to leave us to find her. Char cleared her throat impatiently waiting for my response. I guess I zoned out a little.

"Charlotte, I really don't want to go this year. Especially now." It was the anniversary of us escaping that psychotic bitch Maria and her never ending hell she called a war. At least wars have principles behind them. She was just nuts.

Char seemed to deliberate with herself for a minute before looking at Garrett, having a silent conversation. I hated it when they did that. It was annoying as fuck.

Garrett got up and gave Char a kiss on the top of her head before leaving us alone, presumably for Char to give me "the talk". It was a common occurrence around here. She flopped on the couch next to me and took my hand.

"Pete, you have been my brother for a very, very long time. You took care of me when no one else could. I love you and I hate to see you unhappy. Despite the jokey, know-it-all front you put up, you are miserable. Please come with us. Jasper and Alice are coming. And I think Rose and Emmett are too. Maybe Irina…" she trailed off in a low voice.

I ripped my hand away from hers, jumping up and faced her. "You invited Irina? Are you out of your damn mind? I can't handle that Char and you know it. I don't want it, ever again. Stop trying to set me up with a fucking succubus! First of all I know where the fuck she's been and I don't want to join the long list of conquests. The only reason she wants anything to do with me is because I'm probably the one vampire she can't have. Why would you ever think that's a good idea?" I was pissed. Yes I hadn't been laid in a long fucking time, but that was my choice. I could never betray the love I had and lost.

Once I started my tirade I couldn't stop. "I am so sick of this shit Charlotte! I don't get why it is so hard for you and Jasper to understand this. You're a mated couple and his emo ass knows what my feelings on the subject are, would you be able to fuck the first random vamp you came across if you lost Garrett? What do you think Jasper would do if Alice was dead? We would be struggling every day to keep him from the pyre!" She was gone, and I faced an eternity alone. End of story. It was my penance for not saving her, for not going back in time.

Char lifted her eyes to mine, black with defiance, but there was a hint of sadness, of understanding there. "Peter, I know all that. Believe me I do, or did you forget that I was the one keeping you from that fate? I know the only thing that stopped you from killing yourself was taking care of me and of Jasper. But I also know what you've been keeping from us for a while now. You know something. You got one of your weird tingly feelings and that's what's keeping you alive." Shit.

"Char it's not entirely like that." I began before sitting down and scrubbing my hands over my face. I didn't know how to explain this to her. "It started out as a promise. She made me swear I would take care of you. She stayed for Jas, and I had to take you and run. It was the only way it would work. After we went back for them," I had to stop and breathe here. I had never told anyone this. "I got a feeling. Once we knew what happened it wasn't just about staying alive for you and Jasper anymore, although that was my priority. I knew there would be a time that my life would get better. Something important would happen and it would save me. I'm still waiting for it."

Charlotte stared at me for a minute. "Ok Peter. I'll stop pushing you. Please just don't cut yourself off from your family. We love you. I still need you."

"I know you do. Just keep me the fuck away from Irina. The rest of the Denali's are fine, but one of these days I'm going to rip that bitch apart."

"Will you go pack then? I'll call Alice and have her deal with the super slut." Char smiled timidly. She was trying to understand and I appreciated it.

"Sure Darlin'. Are you and Garrett hunting tonight?" I really wanted the house to myself. I needed to think and didn't feel like sitting in a tree.

"Yes, would you like to come? You haven't been with us in a while." This was true, but I usually preferred to go by myself.

"No, Char I went last night I'll go again before we leave though." Char stared at me for another minute before nodding and gliding out of the front door to meet Garrett presumably.

After the two of them had left I briefly debated continuing my assault on alien planets, but realized that if I hadn't packed anything by the time they got home my sister would flip. I hated to admit it, but I was a little bit afraid of her. Char could be vicious when she put her mind to it. Hell, I taught her how to be and sometimes I really regretted it.

I went up to my room and grabbed a duffel bag out of my closet and began throwing clothes into it. Jeans, t-shirts, a couple of button downs, and a pair of board shorts. Some flip flops and shower stuff followed and I was done. Running my hand through my shaggy light brown hair, I flopped down on my bed. Sleep was the one human trait I truly missed. I closed my eyes, however I instantly regretted it.

Memories flashed through my head and I damned vampire recall for the millionth time. I went back and forth between hating the memories seared in my brain and cherishing them, knowing it was all I would ever have of her again. Curly brown hair, petite body writhing beneath mine, eyes full of love the day she forced me to leave her. I never would have if my gift hadn't told me it was the only way to keep Char safe. I didn't give a shit if I lived, because I knew it wasn't living without her.

The sob that I had been suppressing ripped its way from my body and I shuddered in pain. I should have stayed. I could have saved her. These ideas had been plaguing me for years, despite the fact I knew they weren't necessarily true. Yes, she could take care of herself. My girl had been an amazing fighter and had the gift of a mental and physical shield to protect herself if things got to dangerous. Once Jas and I had figured it out and helped her harness its power, she became virtually unstoppable. Venom welled in my eyes as my thoughts drifted to the first time I saw her.

_~~Flashback, Texas- 1924.~~_

I stood in the Texas desert, watching the newborns train. The major had gone hunting and as his second in command it was my job to basically babysit the fuckers. Sighing as yet another had their head ripped off I turned away. They would figure out how to fuse it back on themselves. We had a policy of tough love around here so to speak. It was the only way to survive.

I had been changed 32 years before by the Major himself, Jasper Whitlock. He ran this army for a crazy bitch named Maria and instead of disposing of me after a year like most newborns he had kept me and made me his Captain. My knowing shit really came in handy for him and I was good at fighting. Somewhere along the way I had managed to break through the hard shell he kept around himself to avoid feeling and we became friends and ultimately brothers. We would only talk as such away from everyone else though. It was always dangerous to let on to friendships and romantic attachments in this camp. It gave others something to hold over your head, as many mates had found out the hard way.

All of a sudden a random newborn, I refused to learn their names, came running towards me.

"Captain, the Major needs you in the barn right away." He said, his eyes on the ground. None of them ever looked at me or Japer. They were better off that way.

I was confused by this immediately. The barn was the space we used for changing the newborns and we weren't scheduled to do so for at least a month. My knower wasn't going off, but I began running anyway after shouting a few quick orders at the newborns I had been training.

Reaching the barn, I found a relatively inexperienced vampire guarding the door.

"Get lost." I barked at him. These little fuckers gossiped like it was running out of style, and if something was wrong all we needed was for it to get back to Maria. Giving me a terrified look he ran off immediately.

I walked through the door and saw the Major standing over a cot and a new scent assaulted me. Magnolia and lemon. It drew me in as I walked toward Jasper.

"Major." I said coming up next to him. "What happened? I thought we weren't changing anymore for the time being." I tried to phrase this in a way that didn't sound like I was questioning his reasoning. We had grown close and were brothers, but above all he was my superior and would still rip my ass apart if it came down to it.

"I changed her. I was hunting and I came across this girl cowering in an alley as a man was walking toward her to attack her. I grabbed him and dragged him away so I could drain him without her knowing, but when I came back to see if she was alright, she immediately looked into my eyes and whispered vampire. She knew Peter, I couldn't leave her human and I couldn't kill the girl for some reason. She's barley twenty and her emotions are amazing."

"How so?" I asked looking the girl over. She was beautiful and becoming more so by the minute as the venom worked through her system. The most amazing thing was that although she was squirming on the cot in obvious pain, she made no sound aside from the occasional whimper.

"She wasn't afraid of me. She felt nothing but acceptance and maybe a little sadness."

"I hope she remembers her life. I want to know what idiot revealed themselves to her and left her. It could be one of ours and they would have to be punished." I murmured, still enraptured with the beauty next to me. "I'll stay with her Major. I think we should see how she progresses. She's obviously quite strong to keep in the screams. She's going to be special."

Jasper looked at me strangely, probably reading my emotions which were full of protectiveness and caring for this tiny, still semi human, girl. He nodded and quickly left the barn, probably going off to inform Maria of the newbie.

For the next three days I watched as she writhed and whimpered, her heart beat slowing after two days. Suddenly it stuttered, with the girl finally releasing a blood curdling scream and arching her back up off of the bed. With two more beats it stopped, and she lay perfectly still. As much as I wanted to be close to her, and seriously what the fuck was that about, I had retreated to the corner of the room not wanting to startle her, especially with my scars. They screamed danger instinctively.

The girl sat up and opened her eyes slowly, sucking in a deep, unnecessary breath and looked around the room, before her eyes landed on me. They widened as she took me in and then she leaped off the cot into a corner and curled up in a ball shaking.

I was surprised by this action. It was a completely different reaction then I was used to seeing. Fight or flight was the general response of newborns, and it confirmed to me that she was special.

"Darlin'" I tried to get her attention keeping my voice as nonthreatening as possible. Again seriously what the fuck? Normally I would have just grabbed them, subdued them and had someone go off and get something for them to eat. "It's all right, I won't hurt you. Can I come closer?"

No response was voiced, but she looked up at me with wide eyes that sucked me in and nodded. I knew then that I would give anything for this girl. She owned my ass and there was nothing that would ever change that. The words mate rattled around in the back of my head as my knower finally went off but I refused to give into the hope.

I began to slowly walk toward her, eventually sitting down about two feet away, with my hands to my lap to help her feel as unthreatened as possible.

"Do you know your name?" I asked quietly, hoping my voice didn't freak her out. She tilted her head and seemed to consider the question for a minute before nodding once again and whispering, "Bella."

It suited her. Beautiful. She slowly began to inch toward me, and I could only hope she felt the pull that I did.

"Do you know what you are?" She immediately trembled and murmured, "Vampire."

"That's right Bella. Does your throat burn?" I asked still speaking calmly and quietly. She suddenly gasped and reached her hand up to rub her throat. Letting out a pained whimper she nodded again this time her eyes full of venom. It broke my dead heart. "I'm going to pick you up now and take you to hunt, ok Bella? I won't hurt you." _Ever_ I finished silently to myself. I stood slowly and reached down to take her hand. The second our skin connected an electric shock ran through my body. By the sudden intake of breath I knew she felt it too.

"What..." she started to ask, but before she could get the whole question out the Major came slamming through the door yelling, "Peter!" Bella let out a tiny squeak and hid behind me, clutching the back of my shirt and shaking.

"It's ok," I whispered. "I'll handle it and explain everything to you." "Major." I greeted quickly as he came into view. He looked stern and tried to see the tiny girl behind me, but she had managed to almost mold herself to me, making that impossible. Suddenly Jasper's eyes widened as he took in the emotional climate of the room. Now I had no idea what she was feeling, but I knew my feelings. Devotion, protectiveness, and if I could manage to admit it to myself, love.

"Peter." He breathed. A warning and a look of sympathy. Fuck he knew. "Major, don't…" I started, but didn't know how to finish. Don't tell her? Don't tell anyone? Don't kill her? All of it. God I was confused.

"I won't. Are you taking her to hunt now?" he asked.

"Yes, then I'll explain things to her. She won't be a problem." I stated emphatically. I wouldn't let her become one. I knew logically she would have to fight, I couldn't just run with her, but I would make damn sure she could take care of herself in battle, and the rest of the time I would take care of her.

"Ok. We'll talk later." It wasn't a suggestion. He almost smiled though as he left. Didn't see that one coming.

I turned slowly seeing as Bella was still wrapped around me and gently picked her up. She clung to me like I was going to disappear at any moment and buried her face into my shoulder breathing deeply as I did the same to her. She seemed to calm down slightly at that which only made me more certain that she was my mate.

I began to walk out of the building, picking up speed until I was flying through the trees. "You're doing great, "I whispered to her, still surprised that she wasn't completely freaking out. When I got to town I stopped in an alley and tried to put her down, but she just held on tighter.

"Bella, you have to let me go so I can go and find you something to eat." I thought quickly. I should probably explain it to her first even if instinct will help her out. "Do you know what we need to eat?" Hopefully since she knew about vampires she would have some understanding.

"Blood." She said quietly. Ok then. Progress I guess. She didn't seem overwhelmed with the smell of the humans so I was fairly confident that she would go berserk on the town in the 5 minutes it would take me to find someone. Bella continued to hold onto my hand though, looking up at me with big eyes and whispered, "Don't leave me."

I inhaled sharply and nodded, not wanting to upset her further because let's face it she's had a fucked up day. Besides I really didn't want to be away from her either.

"Hold your breath ok? And don't let go of my hand." She nodded emphatically and we walked silently down the street until I saw two men standing in front of a saloon. "Ok, see those two men? I'm going to go get them and bring them back to the alley behind us for you." She froze and clutched my hand tighter for a minute before finally seeming to agree.

"You'll be able to see me the whole time," I promised gently before letting go and walking toward the men. I grabbed them quickly, a hand over each of their mouths, and made back to the alley. Bella was already there, her head peeking out around the corner so she could still see me.

"Watch," I instructed as I quickly snapped one of their necks. The other man began to shake with fear, knowing what was coming. I snapped his neck next and bit into it right on the jugular. Bella watched with wide eyes, taking everything in. After he was drained I picked up the other man and held him out toward Bella.

At first she seemed hesitant but instinct won out and she grabbed him, pierced his neck and drank greedily. When she was finished she dropped him and backed away shaking. It was a pretty normal reaction, one I had seen a thousand times before, but my chest constricted at the sight of my girl, my mate so upset. I went to her quickly and pulled her into my arms, hoping she wouldn't fight me.

Bella immediately relaxed. "I'm sorry. So sorry for this." I whispered as I gently stroked her hair. She looked up at me, and said quietly, "Not your fault. You didn't change me."

"I know, but no one wants this. And if it helps the Major didn't change you for a malicious reason." I said, immediately regretting my words. He would kick my ass for telling her this. "Let's start back and I'll explain some things to you ok? Do you want to run yourself this time?" I asked despite wanting to carry her. Our speed was one of the few things that made being a vampire interesting, at least in this hellhole and I wanted to show her something good. Bella unwrapped herself from me again and held my hand as I led her back to the trees. We ran at full speed, causing her to smile until we came to a small lake. I led her to the edge and sat down, pulling her down next to me. She played with the fingers of my left hand as I tried desperately to find a way to start this conversation. I wasn't used to playing nice with the newborns. Shit, the Major and I were rarely nice to each other and we were friends. Sort of.

"Bella before we talk about a few things can you tell me how you know about vampires? Do you remember?" I asked softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

She shook slightly for a second, but then squared her shoulders and looked at me. "Yes I remember. Can I ask you something first though?"

"Of course you can ask me anything." I would give her whatever she wanted. Hell I was seriously considering going back on my previous plan and grabbing her and making a run for it.

"Is your name Peter? That's what the Major called you." God I'm a fucking idiot! I hadn't even told her my name. "Yes, my name is Peter Whitlock. Whitlock is the Major's last name and I couldn't remember mine so he gave me his. Even though he's in charge, we're friends. Kind of."

Bella studied me for a minute trying to figure out what that meant before continuing but she just nodded and said. "My name is Bella Swan and I dated a vampire." Holy fucking shit! Is she serious? My face must have given away my thoughts because she gave me a wry smile and continued.

"My father and I had just moved to a small town in East Texas where he became the sheriff. There was a wealthy family there. A doctor and his wife who had taken in two children, a boy and a girl. All impossibly beautiful. Shortly after we arrived I fell and broke my arm. I met the doctor as well as his family and his son," she spat that word out. I had a feeling this story was going to really piss me off. "took a liking to me. He began calling on me and my father was thrilled." Bella snorted here. "The only son of the wealthiest man in town. Eventually I noticed how different he was. Cold, strong, and his eyes were a strange orange color. Anyway one day he told me. That he was a vampire, that I was his mate, and that he would stay with me for the rest of my life." I couldn't help but growl at this. The rest of _her_ life. Not only was there some asshole going around revealing himself to humans, he told her she was his mate and yet wouldn't change her? What the fuck?

"One day I cut myself in front of him. He started to drink from me, but stopped before he killed me. He and his family left shortly after that." She murmured. "He told me I was worthless, a pet and a distraction. It broke me. I had never been in love before and thought that's what we had. He said forever and then he deserted me. They all did. Months went by and I just shut down. I hurt every day." She whispered.

I was beyond pissed. First of all, she was my mate, _mine_ and now because of this asshole she probably wouldn't believe me. Secondly, anyone who hurt her was now automatically on my shit list for life. Of existence. Whatever. I took a deep breath as I noticed she was watching me carefully, and realized I was probably scaring her with my reaction.

"Please don't be afraid, I won't hurt you, I can't" I pleaded with her.

"I know. I'm not sure why but I can tell that. Can you tell me why I was changed?" Valid question.

"Well once the Major knew you had knowledge of what we were, he really only had two options." I started.

"Change or kill, number one rule, the Volturi," she muttered. Damn, she really was informed.

"Yes, see the Major is an empath. He can feel and alter your emotions and he said he knew you were special. He'll never say it and don't tell him I told you, but he really does feel bad that he had to do it." God, he really would kick my ass if he found out I said that.

"Now", I continued, "as to why you're here, we are led by a crazypire named Maria. She leads us as an army and the Major is her second in command, as I am his second. You will be forced to learn how to fight, and will be punished if you get out of line." I said. "Trust me the punishments aren't fun. Don't worry though. I will teach you to fight and protect yourself."

Bella noticed my scars then and I stiffened, waiting to how the look of repulsion in her eyes, but only anger and sympathy came. "They hurt you?!" she cried. "It's ok Darlin' I survived and that's all you can do here."

She still looked confused. "What does she want us to fight for?" I sighed. "Territory and feeding grounds. It's ridiculous and I'm still trying to find a way to get us out of here, but my knower said it isn't time yet."

"Your knower?" she asked. "Like the Major I have a gift. Kind of. Things just pop into my brain and I know what we need to do." She nodded.

Ok, time to man up and tell her the rest of what I know. "Bella, I know you said the other vampire told you about mates, but can I tell you some more?" I asked. I needed her to understand this because I knew she would be hesitant to accept it, even if she felt the pull.

She nodded her consent and I took a deep breath. "Bella the theory is that every vampire has a mate out there. Someone made for them, the other half of their soul. Once we meet them we are bound to them and could never leave them or cause them pain." I said this last part gently, knowing she would make the connection, but not wanting to hurt her.

"I know," she said quietly. "When we first met I would feel strange around him. Drawn, but almost in an addictive way. It's hard to explain. I used to say he was dazzling me." She gave a short laugh.

Then it all clicked for me. "I think he was Bella. Vampires have something we call thrall. It makes humans drawn to us in order to make hunting easier." I felt horrible. This poor girl had been through so much and was in so much pain from someone she thought she loved. I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted me.

Bella surprised me however. "I thought it might be something like that. I started to feel better after he was gone for a few months. More like myself again. Peter, why are you telling me about mates?"

"Because I think you're mine," I blurted out. Smooth asshole.

Bella looked shocked, but then began to rub her chest. "I…I feel a pull to you. You make me feel safe, but I'm scared. Everything is insane right now. It's all bright and loud and...I don't think I can be what you need." She began to take short breathes and I swear if it was possible for a vampire she would be hyperventilating. I tentatively pulled her to me and began to run my fingers through her hair and purr. I had never purred before, but it was calming her.

"Hush, Darlin'. You don't have to decide anything about that right now. I would never want you to feel pressured to be with me. My main desire is to keep you safe and happy, and if someday that's with me I would love that, but for now I just want to help you get used to this life. Don't ever think you have to be or feel anything you don't for me ok?" It might possibly break me completely if she never wanted me, but what I said was true. She just had to be safe and happy and if that meant following her around for the rest of existence while she was with someone else, then I would do it.

Bella looked up at me then and gave me a small smile. "Ok, I believe you. So…friends?" She asked giving me a shrug. I had to laugh at that. Friends nowhere near encompassed what we were, but I guess it was as good a description as any.

"It would be my pleasure ma'am." I replied before standing up and taking her hand to help her.

"Now what do we do?" she asked. I considered for a moment. There was no way that I could take her back to the camp when she couldn't protect herself at all, and I couldn't be around her constantly unless I wanted to point out to the world that she was my mate. And as much as I did want to do that, it would only put a target on her back.

"Now Darlin', I teach you how to fight."

_~~END FLASHBACK~~_

A buzzing interrupted the quiet and I was pulled from my silent reverie by my phone. I didn't even look to check who it was. I knew right away. Taking a deep breath to try and calm myself and hit the talk button. "Major." My voice sounded rough with emotion. Clearly calming down didn't work. I shouldn't have bothered to answer.

"Hey fucker." Came the reply, but his tone was concerned and it softened his harsh greeting. "You ready for Greece yet? Alice and I are coming for the whole month this year."

"I guess. I wasn't going to go, but our baby sister handed me my emo ass earlier so I figure I better at least attempt to be sociable."

"Peter…I know it's hard for you right now. We're your family though. Don't hide from us."

"Look Jas, I know you mean well but you really don't know, so kindly fuck off." God I was so damned sick of people telling me they know. This must be how they felt hanging out with me. That's something to ponder later.

"Fuck you Captain! You don't think I feel guilty every goddamned day for what happened? I get it Pete, but you aren't the only one who lost someone. Char and I lost a sister. Did you know she calls me crying because she misses her and can't talk to you about it?" That's it.

"Yeah J, you lost a sister and I know you feel guilty. But listen up bro, first of all it wasn't your fault and second of all I didn't lose a sister, I lost fuckin' everything!" I roared. "She was my mate you jackass! I may let Char think that the reason I'm still alive is because you and she are my life, but the truth of the matter is it's only because we didn't mark each other and complete the mating bond. I figured that any pain I was feeling was from the hellish existence we left, and yeah part of it probably was, but most of it was the goddamned mating pull. I miss her every fucking day! I am empty and alone and I wish every day that my existence ended on that field right after Bella's." I was shaking with anger and sadness. Jasper should be glad he wasn't in the room with me or he'd be on his knees in pain at the emotions I was throwing around.

Jasper was quiet for a minute after my tirade. I rarely went off on him like that. I was closer to him than anyone on earth, but he was still the Major and my sire. Plus what I said was true. He did feel extremely guilty that he was the one there when she was torn apart and he couldn't get to her. He felt responsible for the depressing turn my life had taken and I didn't want to make it worse for him.

I sighed and continued, "Please Jasper, just answer me honestly. What would you do if it was Alice? Would Char and I be enough? Would you want to move on like Garret and Charlotte keep telling me to? Fuck." I muttered at the end.

"I wouldn't want to live without Al, but I know she would kick my ass for giving up and not even trying. You've seen me at my worst and I think it would be worse than that. But I would eventually try. For her. Bella wouldn't want this for you Peter. You never really broke down Pete. Immediately after it happened you were fucked up for a long time, but you held it together for Char and for me."

I stifled another sob. God, some days I could completely ignore what I felt about this, about her, but others all I did was drown in it. It was one of the main reasons Jasper couldn't live with us. Feeling my fucked up emotional cocktail all day was not something he could or should have to handle.

"Look, can we just talk about something else? Please? Just distract me, I can't do this anymore today." I practically begged.

Jasper was quiet for a minute before blurting out, "Edward thinks he found his mate."

Well that was new. And fucking shocking to say the least. The eternal virgin had been moping about since the early 20th century going on about how we were soulless and didn't deserve love. This was going to be interesting.

"Yeah? So did he finally get laid?" I had to know. It was morbid curiosity at its best.

Jasper snorted. "Fuck no, you know how his uptight Victorian ass is. Besides that's not the best part. She's human."

I was stunned to silence. "I didn't even think that was possible." The closest I had ever seen or heard to something like this was myself. Bella had already begun the change though, and frankly I hadn't felt the pull completely until she woke up.

"I'm not convinced it is. Alice says she can see her with us, as a vampire, but he's adamant about not changing her. Doesn't want to destroy her soul or some bullshit. Besides that all I really feel from him for her is possessiveness, no love despite what he says."

"What about her, does she love him?"

"Sometimes I think so, other times it seems like she's addicted to him." That struck a chord with me

"Dazzling," I murmured.

"Yup I thought of that too. Alice doesn't believe he's capable of it, but I'm not sure he even knows he's doing it if he is."

"What does the family think?" I didn't really understand Jasper's family. The Cullen's were an odd breed. I did respect Carlisle and his beliefs. I didn't agree, but I respected him nonetheless. Esme was a very sweet woman, if not a little overbearing. Rose and Emmett were interesting. Rose could be a stone cold bitch, but after I found out how she was turned, I didn't particularly blame her. Emmett just wanted to enjoy whatever he could from his existence.

Jasper sighed. "Emmett finds her hilarious. Rose hates her, but mostly I think she hates the fact that his girl is willing to voluntarily give up her human life and be changed. Esme just likes having someone to mother that actually needs things and I think Carlisle is uncertain, but ultimately you and I both know he lets Eddie get away with whatever he wants."

"Yep and this time it might very well end you all if he doesn't change her."

Jasper groaned. "I know but Carlisle will never make him do it. I may have to just make a split second decision and do it myself. Look don't tell anyone. Even Char and Garrett. The less people that know about this the better."

"Awww and you felt the need to tell me and risk my possible destruction. I feel so loved Major."

"Shut up Peter, it won't come to that." Jas grumbled knowing full well that if the Volturi found out it would definitely come to that.

"I'm not worried. You'll do the right thing. Look I'm going to go I'll see you in a few days ok? Tell the midget I said hi."

"Yeah, I'll definitely call her that." Jasper scoffed. I could practically feel him rolling his eyes.

"Bye, Jas."

"See ya Captain."

Sighing I flopped back on my bed trying to mentally prepare myself for the coming interaction with other people. Yes, they were my family, but I rarely spent any time with someone other than Char and Garrett. Frankly, I had completely lost any type of polite social niceties, if I ever had any to begin with.

Hearing Garrett and Char come home, I put my ear buds in and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: All I own is a new house that keeps me from updating on FanFiction...I definitely don't have any money left to own Twilight too.**

Three days later found me laying in the sand looking out into the turquois water of the Mediterranean Sea. Garrett was surfing, despite a lack of any real waves. Or talent. Jas and Emmett were wrestling. Emmett finally pinned him, but Jas just raised an eyebrow as the giant celebrated his victory. I had to snort. Somehow my brother had managed to convince the big oaf that he could actually beat him.

Hearing my noise of disbelief Emmett turned to me. "What you think you can do better?" He asked his voice full of bravado from his recent win.

"Yes, but I also know Jasper can too." I said without even bothering to open my eyes. "In fact I'm pretty Char could beat your ass."

"Please. I love you Char, but there's no way a tiny little thing like you could take me." Emmett boasted causing Alice to giggle. She saw what would happen if Charlotte fought him. That should have been his first clue that he was being a dumbass.

"Go ahead Darlin'. Show him what you know." I said. Charlotte might have been one of the most well trained vampires on the planet. When she was first changed she was so terrified, but Bella had taken her under her wing and taught her everything she knew. That was in addition to the fact that Jasper and I had both made an effort with her. While Jasper was seen as the most dangerous vampire by far, he had no one to teach him, it was all instinct and experience. I had only been trained by him and while Bells had benefitted from both of our experience, the three of us all had gifts to help us. Hell, Jas could drop anyone in pain, and Bella had her shield so unless she was extremely distracted no one could get close enough to touch her. Charlotte on the other hand was all skill.

Sighing our little sister stood up and walked over to Emmett. While he crouched and began shifting his weight back and forth, she simply stood there. He began to circle her, and she never even followed to keep him in her line of sight, but I knew she was aware of his location the whole time. Finally Emmett charged her from the side. Just as he reached her and was about to have his arms around her, Char slid to the ground and underneath him, evading his grasp. Kicking his feet out from underneath him, she grabbed his arm and swung herself up on his back and had her teeth at his throat before he even hit the ground. The whole thing lasted about two minutes.

Emmett cursed loudly as the rest of us attempted to stifle our laughter.

"If she's so good, how come Jas loses to me if he taught her?" He wondered.

I couldn't contain the laughter anymore. "He's holding back you idiot. If he didn't you'd probably lose a limb every time. When Jas is in the zone there are very few who can evade him, and only one that I've ever seen actually beat him." I said without even thinking.

"Pete," Jasper quietly said telling me to shut up if I truly didn't want to talk about her. The funny thing was I was beginning to get to the point where the memories didn't always cripple me.

"It's fine." I murmured.

"Who was it?" Emmett's constant curiosity exploded. Even Rose looked mildly interested. Alice was staring at Jasper, pissed that he never told her about it I guess.

"My mate." I replied stunning the shit out of all of them. None of us had ever mentioned her before, even to Alice who was supposedly a Whitlock.

"What! How did I not know this? I can't believe you kept something like this from me Jasper!" Alice shrieked. Charlotte was one her in a second, before Alice could even see the decision.

"Back off." She growled lowly. "It's no one's business and if Jasper didn't tell you it's because Peter didn't like to talk about it."

"Char its fine." I said, not really wanting to have a fight break out over this. "I should have talked about it and Jas, you didn't need to keep it from her. She was your sister, you're perfectly entitled to talk about her." Garrett walked over and gently pulled my sister away from the pixie murmuring quietly to her and trying to calm her as a sob escaped her body.

Silence reigned for a moment before Rose spoke up. "_Was_ your mate?"

"She's dead." I said with as little emotion as I could. Immediately Jasper's guilt was projected onto all of us. "Knock it off," Char and I snapped at the same time. "It wasn't your fault." Sighing I continued. "Jasper changed her in the wars. We fought together for years, and both knew right away that we were mated, but tried to hide it. It would have been a weakness if anyone knew and Maria especially could use our bond against us. Eventually she came up with this plan. I had to take Charlotte and run and she and Jas would stay. If we all left at once Maria definitely would have followed. I fought her on it, but eventually my knower kicked in and agreed with her. It was the only way to save Char from being destroyed at the end of her newborn year. Maria tended to only like to keep vampires with gifts."

Jasper continued. "After they left we continued to fight for a few years. We figured eventually Peter's knower would go off and tell him to come back and get us when the time was right. Then one day we faced a surprise attack and the two of us were separated." He swallowed back the venom and inhaled sharply before continuing. "I heard her scream and looked for her. All I saw was smoke lifting from the last place she had been. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find her. She was gone."

"The next day Peter and I came back and found Jas in the woods by the camp. He was distraught and his power was completely out of control." Char stopped a minute and looked at me. "I knew that my sister was gone. The three of us left and never looked back"

I stood up quickly and mumbled "I'm going for a run."

Taking off i circled the island unable to stop. If I could run from my pain from body I would have done it years ago, but nothing ever worked. Eventually I ended up sitting in a tree letting my thoughts consume me. I didn't even hear her approach. Some warrior I was.

Jumping into the tree Rose situated herself and sat beside me quietly for several minutes. "I can't believe you never told us Peter. We've been friends for years. I would have listened."

I reached out and took her hand. Rose could be a bitch, but ultimately she was a loyal and good friend. She usually just didn't show this side of herself to many people.

"I know. I was messed up for a long time and couldn't talk about it. Even with Jasper and Charlotte. It still hurts every day."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but how are you not insane? I always thought that would happen if a vampire lost a mate."

"Some days I'm pretty sure I am insane Rose." I said causing a small laugh to escape her. "To answer your question though, we never marked each other. It would have put us both in danger, and I could never do something that would lead to the possibility of that. I still feel the pull every day, and have wanted for years to get revenge, but I managed to stop myself every time. I have an amazing family and my dying wouldn't help them at all."

"You're stronger than I could ever be."

"No I'm not. You're one of the strongest people I know. You overcame an extremely violent turning and went on to have an amazing life." I was quiet for a moment before I continued. "That's why Jasper turned her you know."

She whipped her head and looked at me curiously. "Was she…" Rose started to question but found herself unable to finish.

"No, he found her in an alley cowering from some asshole about to rip her clothes off. He fed on him right in front of her and she took one look at him and said vampire. Like it was an everyday thing. She had been exposed to our world and he couldn't bring himself to kill her." I knew Rose would object, she hated the thought of any one being turned against their will. Hell, some days she still hated Carlisle for doing it to her. "She never regretted it happening though. Even in the situation we lived in, the violence. She grew up seeing the worst of our kind and she told me once every bite and dismemberment was worth it to have me."

"I find that both disturbing and beautiful." She said causing me to laugh.

"Yeah well, she kind of was. I think you would have liked her. She could be a huge bitch too." I said nudging her gently earning a scowl and a push out of the tree. Rose jumped down beside me gracefully, offering me a hand to pull me to my feet.

"Let's go back. Maybe we can convince Jas to actually kick Emmett's ass this time." I suggested before taking off back toward the house. Rose's laugh rang off the trees as she followed close behind.

The next days passed quickly, albeit not without tension. Alice continued to be extremely pissy with everyone except for Emmett and Rosalie, especially Jasper. Finally Char had enough. Alice was ranting at Jasper yet again when she exploded.

"Let it go!" She yelled suddenly surprising all of us. "If Jasper or Peter or I had wanted to talk about it we would have. It's an extremely painful thing and the bond the four of us had was stronger than any family I've ever seen." Alice started to protest, but Char stopped her. "We grew up in a war living as if every day was our very last. All we had was each other and unlike you who's biggest deal is whether or not Neiman's is having a shoe sale, we had the knowledge that we were most likely going to die at any given moment. Hell I didn't even tell Garrett for about 5 years and he actually is my mate." My sister could never resist an opportunity to remind the pixie that she and the Major weren't truly mated. Not that Alice ever believed it. Jasper still didn't believe us half the time.

"How dare you! Jasper and I are mates and we tell each other everything! This girl, whose name no one will still tell me," Alice added with a glare at three of us, "would have been my sister I deserve to know these things. I'm a Whitlock too." She snarled.

"Oh get off it Alice. We all know you don't share every vision you have with him. And don't give me that crap about it changing the future if we know. You pick and choose what you tell him and the rest of us." Rose snapped.

"Besides," Char said with fake innocence, "didn't you refuse to take Jasper's name in every single one of those god awful weddings you planned?" This brought a scowl from Jasper. He had never liked her insistence that she was and would remain a Cullen.

Just as a full blown cat fight was about to explode Alice's eyes glazed over signaling a vision. When she came to she was in full panic mode. "Shit!" she yelled as she grabbed frantically for her phone. The rest of us looked at her with wide eyes as Jasper quickly tried to calm her.

"Edward! You have to run now! There are nomads coming, one of them is a tracker and they are going to be after Jessica. Take her and get out of Forks. Leave Esme and Carlisle and have him call the Denali's down to help. Jasper and I will meet you in Chicago I'll send Rose and Emmett to follow the other one." She was talking faster than I had ever heard before and then abruptly ended the call, flew into her room and began packing. "Rose, Em! Go now. Get on the next flight back to Forks and find the nomad. She has red hair. We have to try and ward this off. If they get to Jess, they'll kill her. Jasper let's go." With that she flew out of the house and to the boat we had to go back to the mainland.

"Sorry guys, I doubt it's as dire as she's making it sound, but I should go." Jasper sighed. You could tell he really had no desire to help the human other than the fact that no one deserved to be stalked by what sounded like a crazy vampire.

"Call us if you need help." I said shaking his hand as Charlotte gave him a hug. Garrett added, "We'll meet you wherever. You know Alice and Edward are both close to useless in a fight." And then with a wave Jasper followed his tiny wife out the door.

"God damned human ruining my vacation. She's constantly getting herself into these situations. Edward already had to save her from getting run over by a car." Rose grumbled

"I can see how she would be intriguing to a bored vampire. Most would want to know why such a large coven is keeping a pet." Garrett mused earning incredulous looks from us. "What? That's how most would see it. I don't think I know a single vampire that would believe the human was Eddie's mate."

I silently watched Rose and Em pack, and then it hit me. This girl was going to be trouble for the Cullens, but she was also going to be a catalyst to something life changing for the Whitlocks.


End file.
